Some friends of mine call their complaining/emotional tweets "emo tweets" so I figured this would be an appropriate name for this blog post! If you follow me on twitter, you'll notice a theme to my tweets lately - ugh. That pretty much sums it up. Emotionally, physically, mentally, I just feel 'ugh' and I've been pretty vocal about it.
I can't decide if I should just let it out and call it "transpariency" or keep it out of the public eye so I'm not making people feel awkward, or keep my troubles to myself becaue there is someone else that always has it worse. Then that makes me feel like I shouldn't feel like this - I am so blessed! I have a great husband who provides for our family and is able to work at home so we spend so much wonderful time together. I have the cutest kiddo who is so smart and well behaved and easy to take care of. I have a big house with room for everything we need. And my family - how can I not feel blessed to have my fantastic family?? I know quite a few people who would love to have what I have. And yet this week has kicked my butt. I feel like I want to crawl into bed and never get back out.
I won't go into detail, but my 'day job' is really stressing me out as each of the 4 kids I watch, as well as my own, have had issues in the past week or two that has added to the difficulty of watching 5 kids 3 and under during the week. Jeff has been blessed by being super busy (which is rare in his business during the first couple months of the year) but this selfishly means he isn't as able to come downstairs and help me out, he is working many nights into the wee hours of the morning, so he is tired and stressed out on his own. I have about 4 major projects that need to happen but don't have the energy or time to get them done. This means my house is too cluttered by these mid-completed projects and my wonderful Merry Maids cleaning from last weekend seems to be disappearing bit by bit. And then some how, I seem to have hurt my back and it keeps getting worse every time I get up in the morning. How can I do any of this when it hurts to sit, stand, and move?? Let's not even get into my exhaustion and how I feel like I am ready to sleep any minute now.
So, does that feel like enough to be an 'emo' blog about everything that I feel 'ugh' about right now? So how can I fix it? I tried laying around the other day and doing the bare minimum, but it just meant the next day had more mess and more to-do's that had to get down. I can't sleep in. I can't get away. I want to say that some 'girl time' or 'couple time' or 'me time' would solve it all, but I have no clue. I also want to throw my hands up and quit this 'day job' of mine but logically, I know I can't. So here I am, complaining to my computer and anyone who is 'listening.' Maybe I'll go get a chiropractic adjustment today at least...
Then I was jumping on Facebook and I saw this on a friends status:
"'Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.'"-Matthew 11:28-30
This is exactly what I need to hear right now. This is exactly what I need to pray right now. I know this isn't a quick fix, I don't really even see what it looks like in my life, but I find a bit of comfort in the thought of it and the fact that maybe I can acheive it. Someday. For now, just believing it in helps. ".... you will find rest for your souls..."